Beyond Borat

Several years ago, at the dawn of the ‘ousand’ths,’ there came to pass a film so modern, so slick and so incredibly strange, that it could only have emanated from one place. That place is Kazakhstan, homeland of director Timur Bekmambetov. The film is NIGHTWATCH. Borat is not involved. There are no goats or banana hammocks.

The specifics of the story are somewhat difficult to follow, as this reviewer was under the incredibly persuasive influence of a friend we’ll refer to as Monsieur Moet Chandon it trampolines through time and outer worlds with spasmodic frequency.

However, the essentials of the plot are thus:

Medieval, specialty-abled humans known as Others are divided into forces of Light and Dark. Upon agreement that warfare would result in equal extinction, the forces formulate the conversely named Night Watch and Day Watch.

Cut to present day Russia. We meet Anton, a domestically troubled everyman who seeks counsel with a mysterious old lady who claims she can induce-here we go again-abortion in his wife, as she’s apparently carrying another man’s child. Ok?The witchery misfires and it is revealed, in another jump into the future, that Anton is a member of the Night Watch. And, um, he’s hunting a vampire. Appearing in a warped, but nattily special-effected, sequence of events are: a (standard-issue) gifted, creepy young boy, a trauma plagued virgin, and many more vampires. The virgin’s curse is a swirling cavity of destruction. How’s that for vaginarific euphemisms? It literally hovers over her home. May we imbue that vaginas are the matrix of all evil? Granted Russian culture has a reputation for being a tad paternal but seriously? Our protagonist is also incessantly pursued by an evil female vampire. That’s four bad mamma-jammas (and three GRE words!) to count. The events of the story culminate in the most awkward father-son relationship since it’s obvious antecedent, STAR WARS.

Point blank, this film thrills. It is a sophisticated coalescence of modern cinema’s technological apogee and naturalistic characterization. That it is Russia’s most expensive and most successful venture is unsurprising. Perhaps it is too much to ask of Hollywood to produce a horror movie that might compete with this picture. I categorize it as horror tentatively, for NIGHT WATCH is transcendent of the genre. Thankfully Bekmambetov has also released DAY WATCH and coming in 2009 is TWILIGHT WATCH. For those of you who wish to see his work immediately there is WANTED, opening this weekend and starring that (formerly) vaguely vampiric vixen Angelina Jolie. Enjoy.